Healing Trauma in Marriage: Using Gottman’s Research-Based Methods

This post explores how trauma affects marriages and how Gottman’s research-based tools can help couples heal and reconnect.

Trauma often has a profound impact on relationships, at times creating barriers to connection and understanding. Whether it stems from past experiences or events within the marriage itself, trauma can make it difficult for couples to communicate and trust each other.

As a marriage and family therapist in Louisville, Kentucky, I’ve seen how Dr. John Gottman’s research-based techniques can help couples navigate these challenges and rebuild a stronger bond.

The Effects of Trauma on Marriage

Trauma can manifest in many ways within a relationship. One partner might withdraw emotionally, while the other feels abandoned or rejected. Communication often breaks down as both partners struggle with unresolved feelings of fear, shame, or anger. Without intervention, these patterns can lead to disconnection and resentment.

Gottman’s Approach to Healing

The Gottman Method offers practical, research-backed tools for couples to address trauma and strengthen their relationship. Here are some key strategies:

1. Build Emotional Safety: Trauma survivors need a safe space to share their feelings without fear of judgment. This means actively listening to your partner, validating their emotions, and expressing empathy. For example, instead of saying, “You’re overreacting,” try, “I understand why you’re feeling this way; I’m here to support you.”

2. Practice Self-Soothing: When conversations about trauma become overwhelming, taking a break to calm down can prevent escalation. Communicate this to your partner by saying, “I’m feeling flooded right now. Can we pause and revisit this in 20 minutes?”

3. Create Shared Meaning: Couples who have experienced trauma can reconnect by finding purpose and shared goals. This might involve working together on a project, creating rituals of connection, or reflecting on what gives your relationship strength.

4. Seek Professional Support: Trauma work often benefits from the guidance of a therapist trained in both Gottman techniques and trauma-informed care. Therapy provides a neutral space to unpack difficult emotions and build healthier patterns of interaction.

   
   

How Havenpoint Counseling Can Support You and Your Family

While trauma can strain a marriage, it doesn’t have to define it. As you’ve reached the end of this blog, we hope you’ve gained valuable insights and practical tips to support your journey. Perhaps this post has sparked some reflection about areas in your life or relationships where you’d like to grow, heal, or strengthen connections. At Havenpoint Counseling in Louisville, KY, we are passionate about walking alongside you through those challenges and providing the tools and support you need to thrive. Whether you’re facing difficulties in your relationship, navigating stress or trauma, or seeking ways to support your child or family, our team of licensed therapists is here to help. We offer a range of therapeutic services tailored to meet the unique needs of every individual, couple, and family we serve.

We provide compassionate care in areas such as:

• Trauma-Informed EMDR Therapy: A specialized approach for healing past wounds and addressing how trauma may impact your mental and emotional well-being. EMDR therapy helps foster resilience and promotes long-term healing.

• Play Therapy for Children: Designed to help children process emotions, express themselves, and develop essential coping skills through play. Our trained play therapists create a safe and nurturing environment for kids to grow and heal.

• Family Therapy: Supporting families in improving communication, strengthening relationships, and navigating challenges together, whether you’re facing transitions or working within blended family dynamics.

• Marriage and Couples Therapy: Using evidence-based approaches like the Gottman Method, we help couples reconnect, resolve conflicts, and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

• Individual Counseling: Providing support for those struggling with anxiety, depression, stress, life transitions, or personal growth, all within a compassionate and supportive environment.

• Christian Counseling: For those seeking faith-based guidance, our Christian counseling services integrate spiritual principles with therapeutic practices to support both personal and relational growth.

Take the Next Step

Life’s challenges can sometimes feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face them alone. At Havenpoint Counseling in Louisville, KY, we are committed to providing a safe, nonjudgmental space where individuals, couples, and families can find healing, connection, and hope.

Whether you’re ready to invest in your relationship, explore healing from trauma, or support your child’s growth, our team of experienced therapists is here to guide you. Contact us today to learn more about our services and schedule your first session. Together, we can help you build the loving, connected, and fulfilling life you deserve.