More Than a Phase? Signs Your Child Could Benefit from Therapy

Read along to learn more about the common signs of mental health struggles in children and to gain wisdom on how parents can support their kids by finding the right therapist.

As parents, we esteem ourselves for knowing our children’s needs. The proverbial story of the mother who knows their child’s cry for hunger from their cry for sleep and their cry for comfort permeates our culture and strikes a chord with nearly every parent. But what happens when our children face hardship or demonstrate behaviors we don’t understand and don’t know how to handle? Better yet, how do we know when it’s time to outsource and ask for help? Let’s take a moment to survey the common signs that children of varying developmental stages may need professional help.

Children Aged 5-9: Early Warning Signs of Mental Health Concerns

At this age, children are still learning to express themselves verbally, and emotional challenges may manifest through non-verbal changes. In addition to vocalized expressions of emotional or social challenges, common signs that a child in this age range may need therapy include:

• Regression in behavior: If a child starts to exhibit behaviors they had previously outgrown—such as bedwetting, thumb-sucking, or tantrums—it may be a sign that they are overwhelmed or struggling with emotional stress.

• Physical complaints without medical cause: Complaints such as stomachaches or headaches, without an identifiable medical reason, may point to emotional distress.

• Difficulty with school or daily routines: Difficulty concentrating, frequent frustration, or an aversion to school may be linked to emotional struggles such as anxiety or depression.

Parents should keep an eye out for these behaviors and consider seeking professional help if the symptoms persist over time. In this stage, therapy often involves play-based techniques, where children can express themselves through activities like drawing, games, and storytelling.

Children Aged 10-12: Pre-Teens and Emerging Emotional Issues

As children enter the pre-teen years, their emotional and social development becomes more complex. At this age, signs of mental health struggles can become more apparent, especially as they begin to face new challenges at school and in their social circles. Indicators that a child in this age group may need therapy include:

• Difficulty making or maintaining friendships: If a child begins to isolate themselves, refuses to engage with peers, or has difficulty navigating social situations, it could indicate issues with self-esteem, anxiety, or depression.

• Changes in academic performance or behavior at school: A sharp decline in school performance or noticeable changes in behavior, such as becoming disruptive or withdrawing in class, may point to anxiety, depression, or other mental health struggles.

• Changes in appetite or eating habits: A noticeable change in eating habits, such as eating too much or not eating enough, can be linked to anxiety, depression, or issues with body image.

During therapy for this age group, play may still be integrated where developmentally appropriate. Additional methods and modalities that are more structured and allow for verbal expression may also be incorporated to help pre-teens develop healthy coping skills and gain a better understanding of their emotions. 

Teens Aged 13-17: Adolescents and Complex Emotional Health Challenges

As children enter their teenage years, mental health concerns can become even more complex, often stemming from the pressures of adolescence, identity exploration, peer relationships, and academic demands. The signs of mental health struggles in teens often differ from those of younger children and can manifest in more severe ways. Common signs that a teenager may need therapy include:

• Extreme mood swings or irritability: Teens are naturally going through hormonal changes, but extreme or prolonged mood swings can point to underlying issues such as depression or anxiety.

• Engaging in risky behaviors: Participating in risky activities—such as substance use, unsafe sexual behavior, or reckless driving—can signal emotional distress, feelings of isolation, or a lack of coping skills. These behaviors may also be linked to depression or self-harm tendencies.

• Withdrawal from family and friends: A sudden or extreme withdrawal from social circles, family, or extracurricular activities may indicate depression, anxiety, or feelings of hopelessness.

• Self-harm or talk of suicide: Self-harming behaviors, such as cutting or burning, are clear signs that a teenager is struggling with overwhelming emotional pain. Talk of suicide or feelings of worthlessness is a major red flag that requires immediate attention and intervention.

At this stage, therapy initially aims to stabilize teens and help them manage their immediate stressors. Once stability or safety has been attained, the therapeutic focus may shift to the motivations, thoughts, and challenges contributing to the underlying decline in mental health functioning.

How Parents Can Help and Finding the Right Therapist

If you recognize any of the signs discussed above in your child, it’s important to have an open discussion about what you’re seeing. The first step is to create an open and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their feelings. As parents, this means regulating our own emotions so that children know we’re safe, available, and not going anywhere if they share something particularly hard or vulnerable. 

Parents should also be proactive in finding a therapist with experience working with children or adolescents. It’s important to look for a therapist who specializes in child and adolescent therapy that uses age-appropriate therapeutic techniques, as treatment methods for children and teens differ from those used with adults.

When seeking a therapist it’s important to consider a therapist’s experience with your child’s specific concerns and compatibility with your child’s personality. Therapy is not a one-time fix. Mental health care is an ongoing process, and the earlier a child receives help, the better the long-term outcome can be. 

By staying vigilant and recognizing the signs that a child may need therapy, parents can provide their children with the support they need to navigate the challenges of growing up. Mental health struggles are common, but with the right help, children can learn to manage their emotions, build resilience, and thrive in their lives.

Strengthening Families, One Step at a Time

At Havenpoint Counseling in Louisville, KY, we know that life’s challenges can take a toll on parents, children, adolescents, and families. That’s why our experienced Marriage and Family Therapists offer personalized, compassionate care to help you navigate difficulties and build healthier relationships.

Children often express their emotions through play, which is why our Play Therapy services, led by a dedicated Child Therapist, provide a safe and structured environment where kids can develop emotional skills. Families experiencing stress or transitions can benefit from Family Counseling, while teens struggling with emotions, identity, or peer relationships can find support in Teen Counseling.

Other Services at Havenpoint Counseling

Our Marriage Counseling and Couples Counseling services provide couples with practical tools to improve communication, rebuild trust, and deepen their connection. For those who want to integrate faith into their healing journey, our Christian Counseling services offer a meaningful blend of spirituality and evidence-based therapy. If trauma has impacted your life, our skilled Trauma Therapists provide Trauma Therapy and EMDR Therapy to help you process past wounds and move forward with confidence. If you need Individual Therapy, we are here to support your personal growth and mental wellness.

No matter what challenges you’re facing, we are committed to helping you and your family thrive. Reach out today to take the next step toward healing.